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07 January 2006 @ 03:06 am
Tonight was a bad night, tonight as in about 20 minutes ago. I watched an old video of myself, well not that old- from april, and I miss my body so much. My upper body was so much thinner than what it is now. My arms were so much tinier. I could fit into a size 5 dress and it was still loose on me. I want that back. It cant be that difficult, right? I know I'm going to be even more critical of myself now. I know Im going to turn more anorexic than I am, which will almost be full anorexia. There is nothing wrong with a curvy body, so why do I want to get rid of mine so bad?
My Mood: depresseddepressed